Unseen University Faculty Jobs

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Jon Lemerond

Lance-Constable
Mar 14, 2026
28
50
48
Wisconsin, USA
#1
I've reached a point in my writing where I need to borrow some other people's brains.

Who do you think would be in charge of student applications at UU?
I'd really rather not invent a new character for a scene that will probably only last a few pages, so these are the candidates as I see them:

Mustrum Ridcully — Probably not. On the other hand, who's going to tell him he's not?
The Bursar — He's in charge of finances, so... maybe? Somebody has to make sure the incoming students can actually pay their fees.
The Dean — Real-world deans sometimes have a role in admissions. Then again, this is UU.
Ponder Stibbons — He already does virtually everything else around the University.
HEX — Just hand the entire process over to a magical supercomputer. What could possibly go wrong?
The Librarian — Unlikely, but once again, who would stop him?
Windle Poons — We never really found out what his job actually was for all those years. Maybe this was it.
The Senior Wrangler — Does he wrangle students? Is that what he's wrangling?
The Lecturer in Recent Runes — It's probably not in his job description, but that has never stopped anyone at UU before.
The Chair of Indefinite Studies — If anyone should have an ill-defined administrative responsibility, surely it's him.
Rincewind — He's exactly unlucky enough to end up with the job, which may be the strongest argument in his favour.

Who would you pick?
Did I miss someone who would be ideal for the job?
 

RathDarkblade

Moderator
City Watch
Mar 24, 2015
19,809
3,400
49
Melbourne, Victoria
#2
I think you missed one, who I believe is already perfect for the job: Victor Tugelbend. (Who? Exactly - we only see him in Moving Pictures, but he is a perpetual student wizard and a friend of Ponder Stibbons's).

Victor's uncle left him a legacy that would pay his tuition as a student at Unseen University, but only so long as he got above an 80 on every exam he took. The mark required to pass and become a wizard is 88. Since Victor much preferred the life of the student wizard, where nobody was actively trying to kill him, he studied extremely hard and carefully got an 84 on every single exam except for three (once, he passed by accident, but argued his grade down a few points, and got an 82 and an 83 on the next two to be safe). The Bursar eventually noticed this and gave him an exam with one question - "What is your name?" - but Victor never took it, having headed off to Holy Wood instead. In this way, he is indirectly responsible for the ascension of Ponder Stibbons to Unseen University's faculty, as Ponder ended up with his exam. For similar reasons, Victor also stays in shape because it is easier to get through life with the strength and dexterity to accomplish tasks easily, and dragging around a bunch of fat is more effort.

I imagine that after the events of MP, Victor returned to UU. This is confirmed by the UU Diary, where Victor is running the Student Club. *G* So, from that to doing student admissions isn't too much of a stretch.

By the way, I'm convinced that his name is a reference to Victor Mature, an actor in the Golden Era of Hollywood who acted in exactly the same type of films as Tugelbend (i.e. sword-and-sandal films).

The name "Tugelbend" is also interesting: in Old English, 'Bendan' is 'put in bonds, tension a bow by means of a string’ (of Germanic origin; related to band), and 'Tugel' is 'tug'. So Tugelbend is 'Tug of rope'? Maybe 'Tug of war'? Maybe a reference to how he is engaged in tension in terms of his grades, since the trust comprises a bond. :)
 
Likes: Tonyblack

Jon Lemerond

Lance-Constable
Mar 14, 2026
28
50
48
Wisconsin, USA
#3
I'm familiar with Victor—Moving Pictures was one of the first Discworld books I read—but I had no idea he got a mention in the UU diary. Nice to know he wasn't entirely forgotten.

Putting him in charge of student administration could be fun, actually. I can easily imagine him treating it as just enough work to avoid having to do any real work.
 
Likes: Tonyblack

RathDarkblade

Moderator
City Watch
Mar 24, 2015
19,809
3,400
49
Melbourne, Victoria
#5
Got to be the Bursar. He's the most overworked member of the Faculty, and I'm sure the rest of them want as little as possible to do with students. :)
Agreed ... but the most overworked member of the Faculty is surely Rincewind. In total, he holds over 18 different academic and administrative titles at Unseen University, though he receives no salary or influence for any of them. :)

His laundry list of jobs includes:

- Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography (his primary, actual position)
- Assistant Librarian (working closely with the Librarian)
- Chair of Experimental Serendipity
- Reader in Slood Dynamics
- Chair for the Public Misunderstanding of Magic
- Professor of Virtual Anthropology
- Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy
- Health and Safety Officer
- Fretwork Teacher (apparently the result of some 1200 year old curse from a dying Archchancellor, sounding very much like 'May you always teach fretwork!')

These titles were effectively dumped on him by Mustrum Ridcully to keep him in the building. While they don't pay him any money, they do guarantee him free meals, laundry service, and up to eight buckets of coal a day. :)
 

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